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Pat yourself on the back because you are one great friend! You've organized an elaborate baby shower that goes against every grain of your moral fiber. It's time to bite your lip and prepare to play every silly baby shower gift you can come up with. There'll be bows on heads, baby word puzzles to complete, and asinine memory games. Live with it. She's your friend and you do want her to be happy don't you?
Sometimes pregnancies are so full of trials and troubles that it's not a huge surprise when the mom-to-be goes into premature labor. Other times, the birth of a premature baby (or preemie) is a complete shock. Your first instinct might be to turn the baby shower into a welcome-baby-shower, but don't do it. The first thing you need to do is make sure mommy and baby are okay. Preemies are underweight and at risk for a number of health problems. So, busting down the pediatric corridor in a baby shower Conga line is probably not a great idea.
Hold off on the baby shower until after mom and baby come home. At this point, your friend doesn't really need any more surprises, so talk to her about having a get-together with close family and friends. Then, dig out the gifts for the new mother and have a party. If you're good, she might even let you hold the baby.
|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|